As usual i get overwhelmed too easily at how our humanity seems to be weak enough to stay good but so strong in influencing others to become as diversely wicked.
Wicked good way.
Wicked bad way.
During my growing years in highschool, i have been very much captured and on fire with songs like “The Potter’s Hands” specially after I have read a passage in the Bible that God is hoping for His people to be like clays who would be shaped by the potter – who is Himself.
At that time i saw myself available. I felt His heart for moldable people BUT i never comprehended the extent of the molding He has set before me – even to this day.
Yet it must have been a righteous request for He has honored my plea. You know how they say it :the prayer of the righteous gets answered (positively i suppose as most understood the passage puts it ). When it got answered positively though, it wasn’t a play doh fun molding AT ALL!
l wasn’t the brightest student alright but I do know that I can be very good at any course I decide to take in college. Lo and behold my pride gets molded. I forgot to level up my study habits to match the demand for time of my first course in college. I started getting failures.
I had my beautiful dream in front of me. i am on the right course to achieve it. God knows my heart was so set & looking forward to it. It was not a bad dream at all. But
my Loving God blurred it out slowly. And every mark is very painful. I saw my dreams get shattered.
l went through CraZy depression and anger and utter disbelief that the God who never failed Me found the brightest time to start making me feel betrayed – when I felt on traCK with my life plan and just when I obeyed & “volunteered” to becoming His CLay. I was devastated, hurt and confused,
Recovering from the pain was a long process . I kept shouting back to Him His promises.
After a long process of allowing myself to grieve I knew I have no one else to go to but also Him . My heart started to mellow.
Failing college subjects wasnot part of my plan, but I will later on realize that the whole scenario was part of His loving answer to my wanting to be molded. It took me a real long while before I sang the song again from heart.
Years later armed with a better understanding of the situation & placed in another vantage view of my God, I became cautioUs of the songs I start to sing from the heart. I cringe – though I know it’s His will – at the words in the song “Hosanna” when it gets to the part of “break my heart for what breaks Yours”. And i skip the “dying” phrase – “holy devoted to live and to die” – in the song For the Sake of The Call. I know these are the prayers that He honors. Haha.
The experience molded me and I am still being molded. He has used the experience to help me with youths who has struggled with the same things.
These are the prayers God honors I know and it is also the same prayer that He provides us with His protection for. Now i ask myself , If i know that they are prayers God takes delight in, that He will give me enough while I go through the painful remolding, then why am I hesitating?
The question took me to the stormy night in the middle of the sea.
The fishermen were struggling to keep the boat afloat crossing to the other side. Then they saw a figure of a man walking on water! Is it a ghost?
He said, “Do not be afraid. it is I”
Finally the figures becomes clearer and Peter excitedly challenges the talking figure…
If it is really you, let me walk on the water towards you”
The man says, “come!”
then the man gets off the boat walks on the water few steps and then starts to sink.
Jesus enables Peter to be granted what he challenged Jesus for. But like most, we normally do not get entirely the extent of our prayers that we then become overwhelmed with the realization of what we asked for in prayer.
I so relate. We ask for something He grants us with and then we doubt in the middle… if not, we get distracted.