…sinking… sank…

As usual i get overwhelmed too easily at how our humanity seems to be weak enough to stay good but so strong in influencing others to become as diversely wicked.

Wicked good way.
Wicked bad way.

During my growing years in highschool, i have been very much captured and on fire with songs like “The Potter’s Hands” specially after I have read a passage in the Bible that God is hoping for His people to be like clays who would be shaped by the potter – who is Himself.

At that time i saw myself available. I felt His heart for moldable people BUT  i never comprehended the extent of the molding He has set before me – even to this day.

Yet it must have been a righteous request for He has honored my plea. You know how they say it :the prayer of the righteous gets answered (positively i suppose as most understood the passage puts it ). When it got answered positively though, it wasn’t a play doh fun molding AT ALL!

l wasn’t the brightest student alright but I do know that I can be very good at any course I decide to take in college. Lo and behold my pride gets molded. I forgot to level up my study habits to match the demand for time of my first course in college. I started getting failures.

I had my beautiful dream in front of me. i am on the right course to achieve it. God knows my heart was so set & looking forward to it. It was not a bad dream at all. But
my Loving God blurred it out slowly. And every mark is very painful. I saw my dreams get shattered.

l went through CraZy depression and anger and utter disbelief that the God who never failed Me  found the brightest time to start making me feel betrayed – when I felt on traCK with my life plan and just when I obeyed & “volunteered” to becoming His CLay. I was devastated, hurt and confused,

Recovering from the pain was a long process . I kept shouting back to Him His promises.

After a long process of allowing myself to grieve I knew I have no one else to go to but also Him . My heart started to mellow.

Failing college subjects  wasnot part of my plan, but I will later on realize that the whole scenario was part of His loving answer to my wanting to be molded. It took me a real long while before I sang the song again from heart.

Years later armed with a better understanding of the situation & placed in another vantage view of my God, I became cautioUs of the songs I start to sing from the heart. I cringe – though I know it’s His will – at the words in the song “Hosanna” when it gets to the part of “break my heart for what breaks Yours”. And i skip the “dying” phrase – “holy devoted to live and to die”  – in the song For the Sake of The Call. I know these are the prayers that He honors. Haha.

The experience molded me and I am still being molded. He has used the experience to help me with youths who has struggled with the same things.

These are the prayers God honors I know and it is also the same prayer that He provides us with His protection for. Now i ask myself , If i know that they are prayers God takes delight in, that He will give me enough while I go through the painful remolding, then why am I hesitating?

The question took me to the stormy night in the middle of the sea.

The fishermen were struggling to keep the boat afloat crossing to the other side. Then they saw a figure of a man walking on water! Is it a ghost? 

He said, “Do not be afraid. it is I”

Finally the figures becomes clearer and Peter excitedly challenges the talking figure…
If it is really you, let me walk on the water towards you”

The man says,  “come!”

then the man gets off the boat walks on the water few steps and then starts to sink.

Jesus enables Peter to be granted what he challenged Jesus for. But like most, we normally do not get entirely the extent of our prayers that we then become overwhelmed with the realization of what we asked for in prayer. 

I so relate. We ask for something He grants us with and then we doubt in the middle… if not, we get distracted.

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Close Enough


I have had thoughts of this same level lately. I am still reading the book, “The Pastor’s kid…. ”


and I am sure that I am not alone in thinking the thought. Except that mine is generic …

Mine goes.. ..

People outside the church needs to know that people inside the church aren’t perfect. We are just as messed up like everyone else. And yes, most of us are the worst sinners too. .

i am closely& repeatedly been being one w/ Paul when he threw the line:

“….of whom I AM THE WORST….”

And very much giving the same conclusion as to why most Christians seem to have the ” baddest” attitude there is even though they vocally preach of the LOVE they follow.


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Good morning

http://bible.com/111/1jn4.20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.

This verse, by far, never fails to prick my heart.

at some point I am guilty.

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driftwood-1   a lone driftwood

enjoying the afternoon sun….

looking out to the sea….

looking forward for one more drift





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Tug of Light


tug of light

darkness makes way to light?

or is the other way around more right?

When night gives way to day

Does it lose the tug of light they play?

Image can be found here:  Clicks of a Second in a Frame 


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My Not So Smart Phone

Update [August 25, 2014] – So i took the phone to the phone doctor. The phone doctor assistant got surprised that the supposedly latest update of the android cause my phone to buckle. She was even more surprised I was asking for a downgrade. I insisted and after getting the downgrade, I updated the OS again this time nailing a good update and my smart phone is back to being smart. Yey.


it was one fine uneventful work day amusing myself with the changing hues of the sky from rain-threatening to sunny-clear-skied cheerful. I was talking to my colleague over the internal messenger and we were keeping track on “how is the sky over there?”. I was claiming it was clear blue with one huge marshmallow cloud. Compared to the clouds building up in their direction, ours was definitely fine. Few more exchanges, I had to show her via an image how nice it was outside. off I went to the window with my “smart” phone took a snap shot and sent it to our chat group.

From the weather, our attention got diverted to the quality of the picture. I’m an android user and they are ios users. I had a hard time capturing the real feel thru the window and the capture was darker. My friend said that their iphone5s can do a better job. Having another friend take a snapshot using her iphone revealed a slight difference. But admittedly the iphone won and I got rubbed in through the chatroom for the android being less efficient versus iphone.

Through the picture/s taken I tried to remember the last time I updated my android phone. so I did update to Samsung Android jelly bean version 4.3. I was Excited to start seeing the new things for Samsung S3. it did not take long though for the new jelly bean to make me wish there was a rollback. On boot, it started to pop up messages that a certain app stopped working. I ignored it but was alarmed to get three more apps stopping to work. Then I did my research. I read lots of similar complaints from other users. and that’s when I knew my battle with

1. ) crashing apps,

2.) freezing phone,

3.) slower-than-few – minutes-ago just started. wpid-screenshot_2014-06-20-08-33-43-1.png The only thing I can do is wait for a bug fix from Samsung. Until then, the price I paid for the unit included a prize for not being so smart. Not all upgrades are improvements. Some upgrades, result to a crash.

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It is a wonder that although I am unconventional when it comes to my quiet time, my God leads me to these verses that are truly relevant. Besides, He is relevant and all our situations should be relevant.

it’s been almost a year since I made a decision I know people would raise an eyebrow to. or I may just be preparing myself too much for something that may not happen at all. but nonetheless revalidating my decisions every once in a while is healthy. To some, it may be a decision to flee. But I had peace accepting the confession of the person and I had peace that God gives people around us for a season and He allows every avenue for me to be able to live and show a life of a forgiven, loved, and graced human being. Fleeing would be a decision that is acceptable and expected by society. I break expectations since birth. hehe.

The verse above affirms me that though I di recognize dreadful sins people around me are involved in, I am in no position to terribly equate their habits and lifestyle to something leprous. I cannot cast the first stone as I do know in my heart I have my own share of violation. society may have the horribleness meter on each actions but all sins are equivalent to the same lashes Jesus got before He died.

Mere receiver of the same grace, my only role is to point them to this Christ who hates the sins we do yet He does not condemn but loves anyway.

For He is right, at that point when He hung on the tree and loooked down at the crowd who jeered at Him, raised fist, etcetera….

they did not know what they were doing

… we don’t know what we are doing

yet un His love, He has and will forgive us.

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beautiful sight going back to shore


So far, my island hopping trips this 2014 gave me a chance to witness sunsets while we are still in the middle of the sea with no other obstructions – just the horizon, the sea, the sun, the sky, the playful clouds and the flaps of the boat we’re on I just had to crop.

Every sunset brings a symphony not of music but of colors. Watching the colors fade from blue to gray with accents of yellow, orange, purple and pink. I don’t know how God does it everytime, but I know I am one grateful creation to see and know how great He is each time.

The Conductor of the universe Who sways His baton on a slow music that shifts day to night, plays the note of nature with such delight that only in His canvass gets mixed with perfect light. As the curtain of each day closes the stage, I am thankful for each day that we got to enjoy, appreciate and relax.

Truly indeed His creation declares His majesty… His greatness….

live loved. live awed.

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purple, pink and orange sky
the swirl of colors blends to night
as the sun exits the stage for the moon
ending the day with another promise soon
light and day share the show
so does happiness with sorrow
if we only see but by the moment
we’d prefer the ones without torment
but without those days with dark
we would not be looking forward for victorious starts
as the Hand that blends this beautiful sight
let Him blend your life
He so promises right
He makes things beautiful in its time

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Clicks of a Second in a Frame

Please like my facebook page. it’s a collection of my shots as a starting enthusiast. NO.. the pictures aren’t great YET. 

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